Lonely is as lonely does.

Ever find yourself in a place where every tick on the clock is an overwhelming reminder of your own despair. Maybe it's just me being a whiney little brat again, but lately it feels that the people I love the most, merely tolerate me. I would much rather be rejected than tolerated, I know the difference between heartfelt love, and that of the obligatory nature. Don't lie to me and pretend you want me around, for my own sake, slam my face in the door and let that be that. If you no longer want my love, do me a favor and throw it back in my face, don't use me for your personal gain. Love me only because you do, and no longer for what I can give to you. As I'm typing this, I'm suddenly aware of my own selfishness, and all the times I have taken the love of my savior for granted. It has occurred to me, that I am hurling stones at others for what I constantly do to Jesus. It seems, that I got on here to pour out my heart, and ended up pouring out His. There has been a lot of that lately, my complaining about others keeps turning into His correcting of me. Hopefully I'll soon learn my lesson, because this is starting to get painful. Well, I guess I'll go hang my head and try to learn my lesson now, until next time, love hard, and love true.