WHAT IF? That is a question that has inspired and doomed, men and empires alike. It is a haunting yet exciting question. It is one of regret, and hope. Most men fear this question, no doubt at times, to the point of perspiration. That in itself is not cowardly, it is the retreat from such things that deems you worthy of such a title. I have found myself locked in a deathgrip with this question for the last several months, going back and forth between past regets and future hopes. I find myself consumed mostly with the dark side of this question, the moments of light are few and far between. I have to determined in my mind, and more importantly my heart, to not run away from this monster, but to face it head on, both light and dark, regret and hope. I don't believe it is possible to confront or conquer one without the other. There would be no need for the light if their were no dark, no desire for warmth, if their is no cold. The more you work, and the harder you fight for things, the more precious they become. That said, I know that when I defeat and bury this adversary named regret, hope will be all the more sweet. Thanks again, for suffering through my babbles, until next time.

You couldn't understand me if you tried, through the the chaos of my mind. Ignorant is your heart, closed and calloused from the start. Filled with judgement, pride, and greed, on my confusions you feed. So devoured by your legalism, totally oblivious to your anorexic condition. Convincing yourself that your feasting at the masters table, your reality is crumbs, your mind stuck in a fable. Aggravating me with your ever changing laws, constantly trying to fill your void with empty works and paper walls. Meaningless doctrines ecompassing your thoughts, breaking through your stupid lies, is the hardest battle fought.Only hearing what you want, calling all questions an attention grabbing stunt. I'm calling out your bulls**t, but you label me a misfit. You're sure I'm blinded by the devil, only trying to show new levels. Grace and mercy you see, always pleading and calling, but we, spend our lives striving to prove our devotion. Caught up on a carousel of emotions, searching for a magic potion. Some type of formula, ending with a negative sum, always obsessing over what's to come. Never paying attention to the present, rummaging through the garbage like some kind of peasant. Never understanding our rank of royalty, pledging to the enemy a type of uninformed loyalty. We must open up our eyes, to the redemption of Jesus Christ. Envelope our souls with His passion, and turn away from fleeting fashions. Get carried away by His love, storing our treasures up above. Enduring till the end, our brokenness he'll mend , casting out our sins. At His feet we'll lay our crowns, with our faces to the ground. Worshipping Him and Him only, Crying Holy Holy Holy.

another day another reminder of my miserable existance

Hello again! How is everyone? I'm getting ready to go to work and hating every second of it, I'm sure most people would love to drive 2 and 1/2 hours to go and work for a company run by complete morons. Myself, not so much. Im' sure most of you have had this revelation by now, but for those who are still in the dark, the real word sucks, and 99% percent of us are not in any way prepared for said world. Remeber when our thoughts were filled with hope, and big dreams of fame and/or fortune. I recently have stumbled upon a great respect for parents, and some of the stupid crap they did for us growing up. Let me tell you where this stumbling occured. It was at none other than the immensely overpriced, white trash infested, soul strangling, Gibson County Fair. That's right folks, red neck central, complete with fair fish, demolition derby, and country music. Looking back at my childhood and our yearly trips to said fair, I can't believe my parents would give in to my begging and pleading to go to this hellhole of a fair. It's interesting how different we view these trip when it's our hard earned money that is funding them. Things become a lot less enjoyable when your bank account is being raped in the process. I say all this as a way of thanking all of our parents and prodding others to adopt a greater appreciation for the people who suffered through such horrible things so we could have a few moments of fun. Enjoy your week and I'll will bore you with my ramblings another time.

welcome

Welcome to my new blog. I know I'm running behind and should have had one about a year ago, but I have been suffering with dial up for the last year. For most of you, I'm sure that will be a sufficient excuse. That's it for now because I have to take a dooky now.